How to Overcome Negative Feelings when Trying to Conceive

For many women trying to conceive, the holidays are simply the worst. Not only due to the invasion of questions by family and friends, seeing loads of babies, but also because they may have imaged themselves pregnant or with a little bundle of joy by this time of the year.

If you are currently trying to get pregnant, there are many articles with wonderful lists containing tips to get you through the holidays.  For this blog, however, we will focus on the power of your mind and how by cultivating a different way of thinking, you  can get through the holidays and maybe even enjoy them.  

It can be incredibly difficult to find happiness and satisfaction in life when you want or need something important to you that you have no control over having. We often overlook the power of our minds, however,  and how we can control the way we approach life.  Research shows that people who are happy and satisfied with life have the same amount of problems as people who are unhappy. The difference is not in their life experiences, but in the way they think.

Renowned researcher, Bene Brown, compared the differences between people who are living fuller and happier lives to those who are unsatisfied and less happy.  After years of research, the ‘10 Guideposts for Wholehearted Living’ were born out of these differences. You can see the entire list , but for this article, we will focus on 3 guideposts in particular that will help you get through events that trigger negative emotions.

Each guidepost is followed by recommended tips to help start the process of letting go of a way of thinking that impedes happiness.

Cultivate Intuition and Trusting Faith: work on letting go of the need for certainty
Whether you are religious or not, trusting your intuition and having faith will help you to let go of the need for certainty:

  • Trust that you are making the right decisions and that life will work out
  • Read books and talk to people who inspire and support your path to letting go of the need for certainty
  • If you are religious or spiritual, find a group that helps you strengthen your faith 

Cultivate a resilient spirit: work on letting go of powerlessness
This is really hard to do and a good place to start is by giving your body and mind a healthy start each day:

  • Make getting a good night's sleep a priority
  • Reduce stress by getting daily fresh air and exercise
  • Eat healthy for a strong mind and body
  • Visualize situations that make you feel powerless and how you overcome them
  • Practice deep breathing with positive thoughts and imagery

Cultivate gratitude and joy by letting go scarcity and fear of the unknown
Focus and think about what you do have daily

  • Helping others is a fantastic way to lift the focus off of what you don’t have. By giving you will feel more satisfied with life: volunteer at a homeless shelter,  focus on helping a friend through hards times or walk dogs at the Humane Society
  • When you start to go to that dark place of thinking about ‘what if I can’t ever get pregnant”, “what if I have another miscarriage” or “I can’t believe I’m not pregnant yet and my sister is having a third,” recognize and respect your feelings- it is completely natural to feel sad, disappointed and jealous. Stewing in these feelings, however, will not benefit you. Change the cycle of negative thinking to thoughts such as “I’m so lucky I have a great husband”, “I’m grateful to have a wonderful career”,  or “I am fortunate to have wonderful friends”.

By cultivating these guideposts, you will be healthier in mind and spirit, and can hopefully find happiness in all that the holidays bring. We would love for you to share ideas on what you do to let go and cultivate trust in your intuition, a resilient spirit and joy.